PLEASE NOTE THAT THE SOURCE OF THIS NEWS IS ‘SUPEROFFICIALNEWS’ – A FAKING NEWS WEBSITE. MANY READERS CLAIM THAT THIS IS FALSE AND SUCH A FESTIVAL NEVER EXISTED IN PUNJAB. WE DO NOT GIVE ANY AUTHENTICITY OF SUCH A FESTIVAL EITHER. WE ARE SORRY IF WE HAD OFFENDED ANYONE THROUGH THIS WRITEUP
Punjab, INDIA — Men in India are already beginning to celebrate as the annual Punjab Rape Festival is just days away. Every non-married girl age 7-16 will have the chance to flee to safety or get raped.
Madhuban Ahluwalia who heads up the annual festival told reporters why the event is so important. “This is a long time tradition in Punjab dating back thousands of years,” says Ahluwalia. “We rape the evil demons out of the girls, otherwise they will cheat on us and we will be forced to kill them. So it is win-win for everyone.”
The Punjab Rape Festival began in 43 BC when Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu raped everyone in his village of Ludhiana. Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu is remembered every year at this event, in fact the trophy given to the man with the most rapes is called ‘The Baalkrishan’.
23-year-old Harikrishna Majumdar tells reporters that he has been training all year for this event. “I’m going to get the most rapes this year. I’ve been practicing raping my sister and her friends every day. I will be rape superstar number one! I will get the Baalkrishan prize this year for sure!”
34-year-old Paul Horner from Toronto who is visiting Punjab on business told reporters he will be missing the festivities this year. “I’m getting the f*ck out of this backwards country tonight.”
India is second in reported rapes in the world only behind the United States. For more information on the festival or if you would like to participate, please call the 24-hour Punjab Rape Festival hotline at (785) 273-0325.